It took a comment from one of the readers to prompt me to post another update. I thank that reader for that comment, and I hope you the best in your life. Everyone deserves happiness.
So, briefly, I left my wife a few weeks ago and, literally, packed up my bike with as much luggage as a 1000cc sportbike can carry without wheelying down the road, and rode off into the night. The freezing night air whipped against my clothes, pulling away layers of the oppression that I'd endured for years. I was finally doing something for me.
After riding for about 45mins or so, I pulled into a fuel station. Stopped at a pump and wandered into the shop and bought a hot chocolate to warm my hands while I filled up the bike's fuel tank. Standing under the flouro lights of a fuel station at 3am took me back to my teenage years of late night driving. Which was the last time I could think of when I felt free to do as I pleased. I could do whatever I wanted to do, and what I wanted to do right then, was call fuckdoll and make sure she still wanted me.
She did.
The weeks since then have been a whirlwind. Happy times of waking up next to her, mixed with some bad times with my wife contacting me and not wanting to let go.
The other problem lately, is my workplace. My manager is a little weakling who is one of the most passive-aggressive people I have had the misfortune of encountering. He is fake with his constant smiles and his faux laughter goes through me like fingernails scraped down a chalkboard. He makes my manias want to surface. I daydream about smashing his head into the corner of his desk until he dies, or beating him with a pool cue. Anything to end his exsistence.
But I won't do it. I care so little for him that I can't bring myself to burn the calories needed to kill him.
And on that note, I shall end. And I promise to update this more often.
Take care, and, to those who can identify with my situation with leaving my wife - do what you need to do to be happy, and only regret things you choose not to do.
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Congrats on your happiness and freedom
ReplyDeleteOnce again, a revealing and inspiring post.
ReplyDeleteI have already decided that I too will make the same break for freedom and happiness that you have made. At the age of forty, as I am, it can be a frightening prospect, but no more frightening than wasting my autumn years away, knowing that every day I now spend in this loveless relationship is another day that is pure waste of ambition, life, and happiness.
The decision, as I say, is made. Now it's just a matter of working out the practical issues. My happiness and I have an ocean to separate us and while that is hardly insurmountable, it does take quite a bit of planning.
I don't look forward to the mess that it will leave behind after ten years, but it has to be done. I'm sure I don't need to explain that to you of all people. So, for what it is worth, know that you (and to a lesser extent, fuckdoll) have inspired at least one man to press on and grab that happiness that you yourself have found.
You both have a new regular reader too. From a distance, you both seem to have found what you want and need in life. I'm right behind you. :)