Monday, March 29, 2010

The topic that shall not be spoken about.

Suicide.

Its a taboo subject for most, but an everyday struggle for far too many.

As an act, it's illegal (even though you can't obviously punish the person after the fact).

Life insurances usually have a clause meaning they don't need to pay if the insured person takes their own life. A sort of final insult to the person's remaining family/friends.

It's a sin in most (if not all - I've not researched) religions. And you are off to Hell if you feel that you can't go on in this world (what a great choice that is for the depressed Christian).

Its one of the biggest causes of death in the world. In fact, worldwide, its the leading cause of death for people under 35.

Just pause for a moment and consider that. Its a shocking statistic.

It's estimated that there are between 10 million and 20 million non-fatal suicide attempts every year, but that's a complete guess. No-one could ever be certain because of the stigma attached to it is stopping sufferers from coming forward to talk about it.

Most people who have never had the thought cross their minds assume suicide attempts are just a "cry for help". And, to a certain point, I guess they are. But, unfortunately, sometimes its simply giving in to constant feeling of worthlessness that grates at your senses for days on end during a depression.

I've considered it. A number of times actually. The thought usually bounces around my head at least once a week, sometimes even when I'm happy with life. Its a demon I've lived with for as long as I can remember.

I recall, as a kid (about 10years old, and I think younger too), I used to enjoy holding my breath underwater. A number of times I considered just staying there until I passed out and then drowning. I tried strangling myself with the curtain tiebacks when I got home from school one day (I remember that one clearly). Let's just say I'm shit at suicide plans!

Why am I writing this? Well, I'm thinking that turning my view on the feeling of wanting to die can provide me a clinical viewpoint. Normally, I can pigeonhole something when I'm in a clinical mind and get it out of my system, and that has already seemed to work here today.

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If you, or someone you know is considering suicide, please seek assistance immediately. Take yourself, or your loved one, to the nearest hospital and advise them of the situation. They have protocols in place for such a situation.
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