Rant....

I guess I need to rant. To talk. To throw away the facade for a while and allow all my thoughts to spew out intot the cold light of day.

I finished work at 1130pm tonight and rode home on a bike that doesn't seem to be performing at its best - I'm not sure what, it just doesn't seem "right". The ride was cold, windy and raining. Then I get home to my wife and her emotionally and socially inept daughter (21 next month).

I'm welcomed home on what is now technically my birthday to find them both saying "happy birthday". I get no card from either of them. Then I get handed the first season of Two and a Half Men on DVD. Still in its cellophane wrapper. With the price attached.

Now, I know I don't go in for birthdays, but I figure - either go along with that and do nothing. Or, actually celebrate my fucking birthday.

I sit down (on the floor cos neither of the fuckers moved from the sofa), and get ready to watch a little TV before trying to fall asleep. But no, I get told that I'm to follow my wife to bed.

But, I point out, I'm not tired, you should go to bed and I'll maybe follow later. But I'm firmly told that is not acceptable. In less that 4mins later, she's snoring horrifically loudly and I'm heading back to the damn sofa.

Moving all the crap they left out to clear enough space for me to lie down and relax, I find a birthday card. Blank. Under a half eaten bag of Doritos.

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The only real thing going through my mind during all of this was the amazing morning I had with fuckdoll. She truely has me thinking some things through in my head. I told her that I love her yesterday.. She reciprocated the feeling and we agreed that we are still finding out when kind of love it is.. A friend? A lover? More?

Sure as anything, right now...

I wish I was there

Mark.


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